|posted 2/14/2016 16:33|
|It seems strange, and a little superstitious, but i got put an injection (apriprozal - or "abilify") for 3 months and my head started to deactivate, i managed to get back off it, and my head is starting to work a little better. i felt abilifyd, thats for sure, couldnt even visualize a frekin dohnut, 1 month ago.|
I dont know how the hell it happened, me getting put on it - and especially the god damn bugger agreeing to let me come off it. wtf??? Anyway, watch out for antipsychotics, get on the wrong one for long enough and be the wrong type of brain, and your a vegetable - AND - noone will believe you, its kinda like a miracle, or curse, noone is superstitious enough to believe you, the only that does, trusts you, and the lady im with at the moment is a real darling, she hid me away on the 4th month, but then i got busted, and i thought it was the end... and for some reason he relented his horrible sword he had over my head.
I feel better already.
kiss it all goodbye.
anyway - back into the machine learning action ->
|posted 2/14/2016 19:56|
|This is what they are, snake venoms, no matter how they describe them.|
|posted 2/14/2016 23:29|
| This happens to all people who really try to push their mind too hard.|
I have had my own personal experiences. Where my head shuts
down. No new ideas. for the longest time.
I then I go to plan 2, where i focus on
one subject and get to know it very well, like a new
concept. Then if this fails. For
example, my mind keeps jumping to a new worth less subjects, Every few
minutes. I just can not hold the same train off thought.
And the other part of the problem is when i am
back in thinking zone, i can not focus on what i want. I just feel good to
focus on worth less stuff and to dwell on it. The stuff, like games.
What i want to focus on fells dull.
The way i get back at my body ( the automatic sub part, working
in the dark. That support my conscious ) is to go on a steep fast. Stop
drinking stop smoking stop coffee.
For me to get a untrained error behavior back in line is not eating for two
weeks. For some reason two week is the magic number
for the hard ones. fewer for the easy ones. Then i feast, when it goes away.
But the error behavior will come back in
a few day or in a month or two. Fast again and it will be gone
in a week. Then feast. Error behavior will come back.
then leave after a 3 day fast. Then feast. After training this problem
away it will come back like once and a while. And a very short time.
I can fast for a month. Because of practice and I take vitamins with a
quarter cup of olive oil, or less. Taking vitamins on a empty stomach can
make you throw up. This is just before i go to bead.
I have calcium citrate in the morning. Common calcium carbonate will
not absorb on a empty stomach. I do not know about calcium sulfate?
But A person must pick one target a year. To many time a year and also
if a new person take on too step of a problem
there body will fight back and kill off all of their will power. Fight battles
that you can win.
Some error behavior well take year to get rid of. Lot of plotting
and planning. Specially when you are currently being victimized by one.
Older you get the more you notices them, the are maturing.
The younger you are
they are very minor and it is ease to find a distraction.
This concept will work if you are willing to get fat when
you subconscious mind gets in line and take order from the conscious
mind. Other wise subconscious mind will fight you.
If your are trying to be a thin super model then forget it.
Also, make sure you are getting all nutreints from the food you
like, love. Or subconscious mind will do the picking, making it stronger.
After you kill off bad behavior. One will rear its head. The craving
for food. But you can win this one. I have kill this one off too.
Food that make you very active and let you think really hard, But have
no calories, are what subconscious mind does not want. They
are vegetables. Subconscious mind wants calories.
And does not want certain minerals, vitamins, and anti oxidant That
let you think hard or better then it.
Sub conscious mind craves for thing that will slow you down. junk food.
Not all junk food is bad, if pared right with other junk food.
|posted 2/15/2016 10:25|
When your brain feels like tired cause of problems it's chance for your body.
Give your body chance for survival activity .
Have a change.
Visit to wilderness and get a little bit of danger for your body.
It would help to your mind immensely.
Struggle for existence must to win mental strife.
And again you would be happy to do your job and be happy enough.
|posted 2/16/2016 12:06|
|i like the snake venom metaphor, even if its a little different, but they are both neurotoxins after all. if your on it long enough, it doesnt seem to affect you anymore, but something about you has changed, and youve become dependant on the drug.|
PROJECT UPDATE-> Worked hard all last night! im almost up to debugging the playback now. about 2 functions away.
Just to show that im actually getting somewhere, and the project isnt just a illogical mess of schizophrenia heres an old vid from a while back showing off that visual playback is possible - the same process, just not as complicated (but this new project is WAY more advanced than this.)
Keghn, so u think ive just run my brain too hard? it seems that way, but its not true, i doubt it. ive got many crazy ideas running through my head about whats happening to me.
a) my subconscious is attacking me, because he doesnt like my moral outfit.
b) attempting to come off antipsychotics (snake venom!!!!) is causing the braindamage.
c) b+ going back on them and off them over and over is making it worse than it was in first place coming off them!!!
d) (this is the funniest one) persian government psyblasters are blasting englishmens heads, althroughout western society over the globe, -and like you say, i get attracted to playing video games and useless things that solve nothing - when they discover secrets of engineering that could change the balance of power. to knock us out of the game.
|Last edited by rouncer @ 2/16/2016 12:16:00 PM|
|posted 2/18/2016 17:18|
|BAM! found the little bastard. (bug...)|
|posted 2/18/2016 17:46|
|super enlongated video. im not sure why i made this one, maybe if some kid finds it on the internet and actually cares... as I get older I start to wonder if this kid even exists. because its not just who, or what, but also when, its impossible.|
|Last edited by rouncer @ 2/18/2016 5:47:00 PM|
|posted 2/20/2016 15:35|
|sneaky another vid in. (totally exclusive, i dont want too many people to know about this.)|